So many questions!!

one word. damn.

Right now I'm in big trouble.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS DOUBLE, no, MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?


Like 1) He treats you like his princess, like his queen, like his baby. Kisses and hugs you like he's never loved before, and will never love another. He takes you anywhere you want and need to go, jokes around with you, texts and calls you everyday, shares with you.

2) He texts other girls, calls other girls, (and God forbid) FLIRTS with other girls, and lies to you about where he's been or has been doing.

3) Gets easily angry each time you question him, or where he's been, or who he's been with. Answers you like he's so sure, like he's not lying at all, and tells you that you exaggerate too much. Tells you that you over-think everything.


is it that easy to break up after being with your man for years, tenderly loving him, and tenderly being loved back??

You may say that this guy I described is a heartless jerk, a liar, a cheater. What if he isn't only that? What if it's just his... multiple personality?

Is there some kind of disease only to be diagnosed to men? Like an "i-need-to-have-more-than-one-girl" syndrome thing? OR IS EVERY GUY LIKE THAT?

My question is: did i do something wrong to you, baby? why have you changed? why did you text her this? why did you text her that? why did you call her?
oh, no.. of course he's not that stupid. I didn't find out by reading his text messages or checking his phone history. Well, indeed I did those things but honestly, I found out from the other girl.

Wow this other girl is sooo nice to you!!! Does she care about you?

yes. in fact..

SHE'S MY COUSIN.

oh well I'm glad I got that out of my system.

But but, what if I'm madly in love with this multiple-personality-heartless-jerk?
People say I should break up with him. It's the best way. It will hurt, but you'll be fine.
Problem is, I KNOW I'LL BE FINE!! I KNOW I WILL BE!! REALLY!!!!
I just... I don't know how I'll get there. I'm so afraid of change, even though I know that... change is what I really need

Is it normal that I get scared of what people will ask me???
WHY'D YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM???
WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
WHYYY?!?!?!
THAT'S A PITY, YOU'VE BEEN GOIN OUT WITH HIM FOR A LONG TIME!!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS THE ONE!!!

OK. I know what I'm afraid of.
I'm afraid that nobody would be there for me...
What if nobody tries to comfort me?

the people who underestimated me, WILL KEEP UNDERESTIMATING ME. That's one other thing I fear.
If there was nothing that I feared. I would've let him go a long time ago.

What should I do?
What should I say?

HOW DO I FIND THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME STRONG...
When I'm deleting pictures, music, albums, etc???
When people ask me why???
When my parents say "I told you so"
When my brother asks
When my sister asks
When my cousins ask
And worst... when he finds someone else (to hurt)?
How do I move on?

I may hate what he's done to me, but that does not mean I stopped loving him. I seriously duperiously love him.
But it has always been lies.

How do I give myself a chance to care about myself and not my surroundings?