So many questions!!

one word. damn.

Right now I'm in big trouble.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS DOUBLE, no, MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?


Like 1) He treats you like his princess, like his queen, like his baby. Kisses and hugs you like he's never loved before, and will never love another. He takes you anywhere you want and need to go, jokes around with you, texts and calls you everyday, shares with you.

2) He texts other girls, calls other girls, (and God forbid) FLIRTS with other girls, and lies to you about where he's been or has been doing.

3) Gets easily angry each time you question him, or where he's been, or who he's been with. Answers you like he's so sure, like he's not lying at all, and tells you that you exaggerate too much. Tells you that you over-think everything.


is it that easy to break up after being with your man for years, tenderly loving him, and tenderly being loved back??

You may say that this guy I described is a heartless jerk, a liar, a cheater. What if he isn't only that? What if it's just his... multiple personality?

Is there some kind of disease only to be diagnosed to men? Like an "i-need-to-have-more-than-one-girl" syndrome thing? OR IS EVERY GUY LIKE THAT?

My question is: did i do something wrong to you, baby? why have you changed? why did you text her this? why did you text her that? why did you call her?
oh, no.. of course he's not that stupid. I didn't find out by reading his text messages or checking his phone history. Well, indeed I did those things but honestly, I found out from the other girl.

Wow this other girl is sooo nice to you!!! Does she care about you?

yes. in fact..

SHE'S MY COUSIN.

oh well I'm glad I got that out of my system.

But but, what if I'm madly in love with this multiple-personality-heartless-jerk?
People say I should break up with him. It's the best way. It will hurt, but you'll be fine.
Problem is, I KNOW I'LL BE FINE!! I KNOW I WILL BE!! REALLY!!!!
I just... I don't know how I'll get there. I'm so afraid of change, even though I know that... change is what I really need

Is it normal that I get scared of what people will ask me???
WHY'D YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM???
WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
WHYYY?!?!?!
THAT'S A PITY, YOU'VE BEEN GOIN OUT WITH HIM FOR A LONG TIME!!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS THE ONE!!!

OK. I know what I'm afraid of.
I'm afraid that nobody would be there for me...
What if nobody tries to comfort me?

the people who underestimated me, WILL KEEP UNDERESTIMATING ME. That's one other thing I fear.
If there was nothing that I feared. I would've let him go a long time ago.

What should I do?
What should I say?

HOW DO I FIND THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME STRONG...
When I'm deleting pictures, music, albums, etc???
When people ask me why???
When my parents say "I told you so"
When my brother asks
When my sister asks
When my cousins ask
And worst... when he finds someone else (to hurt)?
How do I move on?

I may hate what he's done to me, but that does not mean I stopped loving him. I seriously duperiously love him.
But it has always been lies.

How do I give myself a chance to care about myself and not my surroundings?

Hari ini

Today I got bored. Like, seriously bored. I got bored at rehearsals, I got bored at my gramma's house, I got bored at home. Today was a boring day. I did many things and talked to many people, but I didn't feel any excitement today. What am I missing? Who am I missing? Oh, but today is my buddy's birthday, so I'm happy for her. But I didn't meet her, which made my day even more boring. Next time I have to hire a non-boring person to follow me around.
Siapa yg mau?

If there is nothing good to say,

then don't say anything.

Well, that's what I do.
Don't say anything if it's not going to be good, you don't wanna regret saying it.
Life is too good for heartbroken people

Carolina & Andest

Gabriella Carolina Hutapea & Daniel Andest Andre Stefano Tobing

Teman-teman ngebacot. And they really are super-duper bacot.
IN TWITTER.

Gabriella = Gaby
Daniel = Dest
Gaby, sekolahnya di SMAN 6 Mahakam. She's so silly and sometimes she asks dumb questions.
Ndest, sekolahnya di Mater Dei High School Pamulang. He's so smart and religious, unlike Gaby.

They tweet each other, and me. And we talk about random stuff.
Daniel calls people "madam", or "kapten" which is pretty annoying because I tell him a hundred times that I am no madame but he still calls me one.
Gaby calls me "Sya", and I appreciate that, because I hate hate hate being called "Nas".
Hmmm, Daniel adalah ketua remaja di HKBP Kebayoran Baru. And Gaby is supposed to be Vice but nooo, someone had to "volunteered" for it. And I hate, hate whoever took Gaby's position (EAM) Sokkk.

Anyways, kalian spesial hahaha najis. Ngga kok, kalian memang benar-benar spesial dalam hidup akyuuu (Daniel doesn't like it when I say Akyuuu) hahaha
Oke da

KITA PARA IDAMAN LELAKI

This entry is for Yulia Amanda Sitohang, Teresa Gerda Tobing, and Debora Ulibasa Lubis!!!!
The most amaaaazing girls in my entire life!

Yulia Amanda Sitohang = Lia
Teresa Gerda Tobing = Echa
Debora Ulibasa Lubis = Ola

And me!Yup that's us. I'm the one with the blue top, Ola's the one with the black top (I love it when she wears that), Yulia's the one with the pink cardigan, and Ecah's the one at the back beside Lia.

Jesu Christi thank you Lord for creating these human beings, and creating me to enjoy life with them! I love you all so much, and you guys are the best! You know, they always have a way to cheer me up. And even sometimes we have conflict, but we always get through it all!
Three of them are all basically nice, beautiful, tall, and F U N N Y
Each of them are so unique, and talented in their own ways.
Echa is really good in singing and dancing. And making people laugh!
Ola is also talented in singing, and making people laugh! Flawless.
Yulia is also actually really good in singing but I guess she's not into performing arts. But there's one thing fosho is that Yulia is a great artist. And she makes people laugh!

And me? I'm just me. All I know is I love them.

That is us again. We were in the bus, on the expedition. On the way to Bali. It was amazing, spending an entire week with them!

Ah this entry is crap, but lovely right? Ok bye.

SANDRO HANAEHAN SIRAIT

Hello, fellow earthling+follower of Jesus!
Guysss, this is one of my friends, his name is Sandro.
He went to middle school in Tarakanita 5, high school in SMAN 70, and guess where he goes to college.....

INSTITUT TEKNOLOGI BANDUNG

Which is prettay cool! Not just pretty cool, but.. COOL!
Hmm, I knew him from church. He's a senior, so he doesn't go to remaja that much.
All I know is that he's smart, religious, nice, and very full of advice!
In church, dia sering gitu jadi WL (worship leader) and he's actually verray good.
Uhh, he's now in Bandung (of course since he goes to ITB), don't know when he'll come back to Jakarta to visit.
But we do miss him! (we as in, Unity, our band haha)
So, Mr. Sirait. Answer me! When will you come back?
Thanks :)

FOLLOW SANDRO ON TWITTAAAH!

G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra

yeaaah, so here's another movie i watched. watched it on sunday- 2 days ago.
G.I Joe started in France in year 19----or 18 something something. This is where a guy called James McCullen(CULLEN??!) was punished to wear a metal mask, yg udh di panasin, for the rest of his life. Then blah blah tiba2 ada tulisan "THE NOT SO DISTANT FUTURE"-bullshit! padahal beda bgt ama yg di France. Suddenly CHANNING TATUM who plays Duke fought with the Mars group where there's Ana, his ex gf (they were fighting for warheads, which are weapons that are sooo cool that it eats metal). Gitu deh, mereka putus karenaaa when the day before Duke had war together with Ana's brother, Rex, Ana told Duke to take care of her brother (Rex) in order for her to accept Duke's wedding proposal (syarat yg aneh). So Duke promised Ana that he would do that. BUUUT in the war Rex got bombed and "died" in this creepy house thingy. Uhm, so Duke was so afraid to face Ana after that and decided to leave her. FOUR YEARS LATER, they met and fought abis2an ampe gila. Buuut ternyata Rex survived the bomb 4 years earlier but with his face ruined. He became the bad guy and he's the super-weirdo scientist for the bad guys- which is Ana's team. OMG, Ana didn't know that Rex is a bad guy. So when Rex almost shot Duke with these scary needles, Rex told Duke the "real him", which is ... Rex, and told Duke what really happened in that war. And I guess Ana heard their conversation and found out that REX IS A TOTAL PSYCHO DUDE so she decided to go to Duke's side (good guys). Rex and the other Finnish guy (______something McCullen, which is the turunan of James McCullen) ditangkep gt deh and the ending of the movie is weird. Can't tell you, cos I actually missed a looot of details :) Wihihi watch it! It's cool and personally I give 5 stars.

Holla